


Courage

by amporatrash



Series: life on the meteor is shitty [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Painful Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:15:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amporatrash/pseuds/amporatrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>life on the meteor is shitty, pt 2.  in which dave struggles not to be an emotional weenie and gamzee has a breakdown (and then a breakthrough).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Courage

"Anybody seen Karkat?"  
  
Every face in the common room turned to look at Dave.  They all sat clustered here and there as usual, keeping themselves as entertained as best they could.  A chorus of responses in the negative joined with a few shaking heads, and Dave had his answer.  He nodded, gave the entryway a thoughtful pat, and then turned from the common room to head back out into the hall.  
  
It wasn't common for Karkat to stay scarce.  Sure, he'd go off on his own from time to time like any of them would, just for a little privacy, but it wasn't like him to completely avoid others for long periods of time.  
  
Dave didn't really know what to think, or what to do.  This wasn't a situation with which he was familiar in any way, and while he wanted to chalk up what he'd seen to some crazy bullshit alien hate-love-romance­-whatever-thing, he had a heavy duty uneasy feeling about it.  His cool exterior served him well, and while that cool extended all the way to his core when it came to most things, he still had a few spots that glowed warmly.  He even had a few that were downright feverish, and though he wasn't keen on ever showing them off, stumbling across Gamzee and Karkat socked him right in the middle of a major one.  
  
He just couldn't shake the feeling that something about what he'd seen was very, very wrong.  Kanaya and Terezi both had gone far to explain to him the intricacies of troll romance in their own colorful ways, but that black quadrant still had Dave confused.  He couldn't wrap his mind around the concept of disliking someone to the point of hating them, and still wanting them playing such a major part in your life.  That and fucking someone you hated just flat-out didn't make any sense.  
  
(He couldn't get the sound of Karkat's pained, sharp cries out of his head either, but everything in his brain worked to avoid thinking about that.  Subsequently, it was all he could think about.)  
  
A crazy dream shook him awake the night he walked in on them.  He didn't remember shit about the actual dream whatsoever, but that didn't stop him from feeling disturbed as fuck.  He had his theories.  Being out in the Furthest Ring, as far as you could get from Earth, it stood to reason that a human's body and mind would freak out a little.  It could only be natural that he'd wake up in the middle of the night (yeah, a night that never ended) feeling like some Lovecraftian monster had been licking his balls, and he was starting to get used to it.  He got up and headed for the bathroom and all he wanted was to get a sip of water from the sink and maybe take a piss.  Then, he heard the voices  
  
It had been two days.  He wasn't going to be able to brush this off.  Maybe it was the misplaced lump of good-guy feels he still had floating around in his brain, or maybe it was the fact that in spite of their antagonistic relationship he actually liked Karkat, but Dave just felt like he had to find the growly little troll and at least make sure he was okay.  
  
Karkat was likely to resent the gesture, and even more likely to get incredibly pissed off that Dave had stumbled in on him and Gamzee, but that didn't matter just then.  Karkat could get angry.  He'd been angry at Dave before.  
  
He just needed to know Karkat was okay.  And if not?  
  
Fuck, it was hard to admit that he actually wanted to help.  Why that was hard to admit, he couldn't explain to himself.  It just was.  Maybe because extending himself that way meant making himself a little vulnerable, something Dave rarely (that is to say, never) tolerated.  It meant showing that he actually did give a fuck, and if you show that much, then you're giving somebody something they can use against you later.  Not something the younger Strider ever wanted to deal with.  
  
The bedrooms in the lab were really nothing more than spare rooms and storage spaces into which they'd hauled anything worth sleeping on.  Couches, roll-away cots, mattresses they'd found stacked in storage, and piles of random junk all served as basic makeshift beds.  Karkat's respiteblock (a far cooler word for a bedroom than Dave ever wanted to admit) was one such space, clearly meant for storage and yet he'd wedged that ratty old burnt-orange couch in there with its fold-out bed and piled random stuff around the corners.  
  
The door was shut.  Well, of course it was, and now that he was standing in front of it, Dave felt even more uneasy than he expected.  He should have brought something so that he had an excuse, some food or something to drink or something like that, so that he could say Kanaya sent him with it.  
  
He suddenly found that to be a fantastic idea, felt like an idiot for not thinking of it right away, and swiftly rushed off to collect something from the cafeteria.   
  
Of course there wasn't much immediately available, in spite of the fact that the meteor was well-stocked with supplies.  Most of it was dry goods, stuff you had to actually cook, and Dave didn't exactly feel like cooking.  
  
Dave carefully weighed his options.  Cook, or risk looking like a sappy douche.    
  
Cook.  
  
Or risk looking like a sappy douche.  
  
It didn't take him long to decide in favor of cooking a little bit.  Really, all he'd have to do was heat up some water, and what kind of dumbass couldn't heat up water?  Bro used to keep the house stocked with ramen, kim chi noodle bowls, and those mac-n-cheese things that you had to eat like three or four of in order to feel like you ate anything.  Dave Strider could fucking heat up water.  He could heat it up like a boss.  
  
Karkat seemed partial to one of the noodle soups that Kanaya often made.  Dave collected one of the packets of the stuff from the massive storage pantry in the cafeteria, sorting through them until he found Karkat's favorite.  No one could really read the text on the packets but it was commonly assumed that the red ones were miso and tofu, the green was tomato, and the blue was chicken noodle.  There were others, but Karkat always asked for one of those, primarily the blue ones.    
  
Dave microwaved a large cup of water until it was boiling, sliced open the packet, and dumped it in, quickly stirring it up.  He couldn't help but think of Bro, and the way he'd bring Dave mugs of soup whenever he was sick as a kid.  He'd never admit to having a comfort food, but if he had to pick one, it would have been prepackaged, microwaveable chicken noodle soup in a fucking coffee mug.  
  
He sighed quietly and carried the steaming mug back the way he'd came, to Karkat's door.  Once again he found himself just standing there for a few seconds, as if he needed to muster his courage to knock on the fucking door, which felt as stupid to him as it sounded in his head.  Courage?  Courage for what?  Courage to bring soup to a cranky, irritable troll boy who'd shut himself up in his room?  
  
 _Courage for making a vulnerable gesture to a  potentially vulnerable person._  
  
Dave swallowed around the sudden lump in his throat.  How could he keep his head through managing multiple concurrent timelines, and yet fail so hard at something so human and stupid?  
  
He sucked in a breath, and knocked at the door.  
  
"GO AWAY."  
  
Of course.  Dave stepped up close to the door, to better speak through it.  "Dude.  Karkat, it's just me."  
  
"FUCK OFF, STRIDER.  I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU RIGHT NOW."  
  
 _Courage, god dammit.  You're a knight, aren't you?_   The urge to snark back was overwhelming, but Dave managed to keep it in check.  "Kanaya asked me to bring you something."  
  
A pause.  "WHY DIDN'T SHE FUCKING BRING IT HERSELF?"  
  
 _You would ask that, you shitlord_.  "She's busy.  C'mon, man.  Let me in."  
  
Another pause.  He heard the lock on the other side of the door click, and then the squawk of a crappy roll-out mattress as Karkat slowly lowered himself back onto his bed.  "FINE.  IT'S UNLOCKED."  
  
Dave slid the door open and stepped into the dark space.  The only light in the room came from the glow of Karkat's open husktop, which sat on a stack of boxes to the side of the bed.  If anything was open and running on it, Karkat minimized it before Dave entered the room, and the troll lay curled up on his side under a blanket.  He faced away from the door, which Dave carefully slid shut behind him, closing them both in that tiny, dimly-lit space.  
  
"What the fuck is it," Karkat asked, lowering his voice now that Dave was on the appropriate side of the door.  
  
"It's soup.  The kind you like."  
  
Karkat lifted his head and glanced over his shoulder.  He caught sight of the mug and slowly rolled himself up to sit.  Dave couldn't help but notice that Karkat didn't move as quickly or as easily as usual, as if he were hurting.  That being the case, no hint of pain crossed his expression whatsoever.  "Give it to me."  Dave stepped up closer and handed the mug off to Karkat, who sniffed cautiously at the mug before taking a sip.  "Okay, now leave."  
  
"Karkat--"  
  
The troll fixed his harsh gaze upon Dave's face.  "Did I stutter?"  
  
"Karkat, just.  Hold on, one second."    
  
The troll curled his hands around the mug, soaking in its warmth.  He took another sip and continued staring angrily at Dave, as if willing him out of the room by the power of his gaze alone.  "What."  
  
"You haven't been around today."  
  
"Yeah, so the fuck what?  Can't a troll just have a day to himself?  Do I have to have an excuse for everything I do?  In case you haven't noticed Strider, I stretch myself pretty thin around here trying to keep up with everything so if you don't fucking mind--"  
  
"Karkat.  Are you okay?"  
  
Dave saw it.  For a second, Karkat faltered.  It was only a second, and it was just barely visible by computer light, but he saw it.  Heard it too, in the softest displeasured grunt imaginable.  
  
"I'M FINE.  Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"Uh."  Dave could make anything seem like it was no big deal, but this?  For once he felt completely out of his league, and all he could do for a few moments was stand there while Karkat gulped down warm mouthfuls of broth.  _Courage._   "Okay, look.  I don't wanna make a big deal out of anything, okay?  I'm not here to be an ass and I don't wanna fuck with you.  I'm asking this because I might actually sort of give a shit, alright?  But I'm serious about whether or not you're okay.  I might have, uh."  He took a deep breath and rubbed at the back of his neck, unable to believe he'd just said all that shit.  "Accidentally opened the bathroom door the other night."  
  
"Oh, so that really was you."  
  
"Yeah, that was me."  
  
Surprisingly, Karkat didn't raise his voice, though he did turn his gaze to the wall.  "Why the fuck did you do that?  Don't lie.  I know you heard me from the other side of the fucking door.  The walls around here aren't that thick."  
  
Dave shrugged a little.  "I'm gonna be honest with you, man.  I really did just have to piss.  And then you sounded like you were in a world of fucking hurt and what was I supposed to do?  Walk away?  I didn't know you weren't alone."  
  
Karkat sighed so heavily that it turned into a groan.  He reached over and deposited his half-empty mug onto the stack of boxes that served as his bedside table, and he slowly gathered his knees to his chest and hugged them.  "I really don't want to talk about this."  
  
"You think I do?  Look man, if you're really okay, then I'll leave.  But if you're not, then you should say something, at least.  This is just between you and me.  I'm not gonna say a word to anybody else."  
  
Karkat's silence was as rare as his approval, but just then it hung as heavily in the room as the darkness.  The troll pressed his forehead against his knees, hiding his face, and Dave felt something in his chest tighten.  _No, fuck this.  I can't._  
  
"Alright, fine."  Dave raised both hands and began to back out of the room.  "I tried."  He turned to reach for the door, unable to shake that tight feeling.  It bothered him, it bothered him a lot and no way in hell did he want Karkat seeing him so bothered.  If the troll wanted to deal with it on his own, then okay.  Dave had done his part.  The good-guy part of his brain had been satisfied somewhat.  He could deal.  
  
"Strider."    
  
 _Shit._  
  
"I'm not okay."  Muffled.  Karkat was speaking into his knees, and quietly at that.  
  
Dave's teeth clenched.  The tightness seemed to squeeze tighter, to the point of causing an ache, but it eased almost immediately.  He slowly turned around.  
  
"He was trying to turn me into his kismesis."  
  
"That's the uh.  The hate one."  
  
"Yeah."  Karkat raised his head and sniffed thickly.  _Oh fuck me, he's crying._ "But I don't feel that way for him.  I can't.  Any hate I have for him is purely platonic.  Even after that."  
  
"So.  You just straight up hate him."  
  
"I hate what he did.  What he's become."  
  
"I see.  Did he.  Did he uh."  _I can't believe I'm fucking asking this.  Oh god make my mouth stop, I can't--_ "Hurt you?"  
  
Karkat swallowed so thickly that Dave could hear it.  "Yeah.  I.  I can't walk."  
  
"So that's why you haven't been around."  
  
"I can kick my own ass and get through just about any kind of pain but this.  This is something I'm not used to and the last thing I want is for everybody to ask me what the matter is when I try to drag my worthless fucking carcass through the common room.  I'd rather just pretend to be sick and wait for the worst of it to go away."  
  
"Right."  _Just leave it at that.  Don't--_ "Is.  I dunno, is there anything I could do to help?  Like.  I dunno.  Anything?"  
  
Karkat scoffed quietly and brushed his tears on his sleeve.  "...maybe.  But don't make a big deal out of it, okay?"  He lifted his gaze to Dave and gave him a sullen look.  "Take your pants off."  
  
Something pinged in Dave's brain, leaving him feeling jostled.  Did he just hear what he thought he heard?  "What?  Whoa, Karkat."  
  
"You asked me if there was anything, and there is.  Now are you going to help me or not?"  
  
Dave literally needed to take a moment to breathe and to sort out his impulses.  First impulse wanted him to scream "FUCK NO" and run out of Karkat's room like a fox with its tail on fire.  Second impulse surrounded a metric shitton of curiosity and the fact that he knew Karkat could keep a secret.  
  
He knew what troll anatomy was like.  Thanks to Terezi, he'd even seen it.  It was freaky but he really liked it, and knowing Karkat was like that suddenly threw troll boys into a completely different light.  Dave had always been indifferent about dicks (and about vags too, really), but trolls didn't have those, did they?  No, they had tight warm nooks and pretty tentacles that could curl around your fingers and other parts of your anatomy...  His mouth suddenly felt exceedingly dry, and his fingers twitched.  "What do you need me to do."  
  
"Take off your pants.  Like I said the first time."  
  
Dave gave himself half a second to think about it.  "Yeah, alright, whatever."  He closed his eyes a moment and his god tier clothing vanished, changing instantly back to his regular clothes.  He much preferred his god tier outfit, but for this kind of thing, plain old jeans and his t-shirt were easier to deal with than a cape.  He undid his fly and let his pants drop, revealing a pair of red boxer briefs.  
  
"Those too," Karkat murmured, gesturing at them.  
  
Dave sucked in a breath and sighed it out, hooking his thumbs into the waistband and working them down as well.  He had a nice dick and he knew it, uncut and smooth, downright pretty as a matter of fact (as far as dicks were concerned), and the moment it hit the cool air, it began stiffening up.  
  
Karkat just blinked and stared at it a moment.  "So it's true," he said quietly.  
  
"What's true?"  
  
"Oh, Rose made some comment about human anatomy a while back and I asked her what she meant.  She told me about those.  What you have there."  
  
Dave thought it best not to mention Terezi.  "Yeah.  Kanaya told me about you guys."  
  
"So you know, then."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Karkat stopped hugging his knees so that the could start undoing his own fly.  "Come here."  
  
Dave stepped out of his shoes and left everything in a pile on the floor.  He moved to the edge of the bed, able to keep up his cool exterior while a million butterflies had their way with his insides.  Karkat slid his own pants down, revealing shapely, utterly hairless gray legs and Dave felt his cock throb.  Fucking trolls, man.  
  
"I meant, get on the bed, Dave."  
  
"Oh, right."  Dave shook himself a little.  It had been a while since he'd done anything like this and he was finding it hard to think.  He crawled onto the bed and began prowling toward Karkat, but the troll stopped him.    
  
"On your back, okay?"  
  
"Come on, Karkat--"  
  
"On your back, Strider.  Trust me."  Karkat let his pants drop off of the side of the bed and he peered back at Dave again.  "Please.  Don't make me ask again, this is embarrassing enough as it is."  
  
Dave sighed and shifted, rolling onto his back as Karkat requested.  His arousal strained upward, blushing hotly at the tip, and he couldn't believe that he'd gotten so hard so fast without so much as a touch.  Maybe it was the fact that he was about to finally get some troll action, or just some action, period.  He'd experimented with Terezi, but they hadn't actually taken it as far as all that.  "You know, it's not really my style to just lay back."  
  
"Yeah, well, I think you can fucking deal with it for a little while."  There was some of that surly Karkat snark he was far more familiar with.  For some reason, it made the situation less tense, and Dave allowed himself a smirk.  
  
"If you're gonna do what I think you're gonna do, then.  Yeah.  I think I can."  
  
"And you can do without these for a few minutes, too."  Karkat reached for his shades, and Dave almost grabbed for his wrist.  No.  No, they could come off for something like this.  It was so dark that Karkat wasn't likely to see the color of his eyes anyway.  It was like the old cowboy movies, he figured.  The hat only came off for one reason.  He figured if the shades could come off for any reason aside from sleep, this would be it.  
  
"Fine," Dave said quietly, though it was clear he wasn't happy about it.  He felt even more exposed, but really at the moment, wasn't that kind of the point?  Sure, they still had their shirts on, but who knew how long that would last.  Not only that but without his shades, the dim glow from Karkat's husktop screen seemed especially bright, and once the troll deposited Dave's shades beside his mug of soup, he draped a leg over him and straddled him.  
  
Warm gray skin brushed against him and the smooth, slick heat between Karkat's thighs slid against his balls and the underside of his shaft.  A wave of unexpected pleasure rushed through Dave, sucking the breath from his lips and pulling a secretive groan from his throat.  "This...is definitely not what I was expecting when I came here, but.  I am not gonna complain."  He smoothed his palms up Karkat's thighs and massaged lean, strife-hardened muscle beneath a layer of light padding and alien skin so silky it felt unreal.  
  
"Good, because the last thing I want to hear right now is more of your complaining, Strider."  Strange.  Karkat sounded almost playful.  Was that a hint of a grin on his lips?  The troll shifted his hips slightly, and something warm and slick slithered and curled its way around Dave's cock, squeezing and relaxing again.  
  
"OH, fuck!" Dave gasped, and his cool exterior shattered.  He grimaced in pleasure before letting his jaw fall slack, his mouth dropping open as that slick warmth slid up and down his shaft.  "That's.  Is that your-..."  
  
"My bulge, yeah."  Karkat snickered.  "Do you like that?"  
  
"Uh.. Uh-huh."  
  
"I don't think I've ever seen you so speechless.  I think I'll consider that a victory."  
  
A brief laugh rushed from Dave's throat and he leaned up on his elbows a little so that he could more easily look into Karkat's face.  "Fuck you, man.  You haven't won anything yet."  
  
Karkat's grin socked Dave right in the gut, if only because it was as rare as his silence.  "Maybe not, but I'm going to."  His eyelids fluttered as his bulge stroked up and down Dave's shaft again, and a soft hiss rushed past his teeth.  "Fuck...  That thing gets really hard, Strider.  And it doesn't move at all.  It's going to be perfect."  
  
"Mmh...  Well, it is pretty perfect.  Not gonna lie."  
  
"How did I know you were going to say that."  
  
Dave formulated a good comeback, but never managed to deliver it.  A firm squeeze effectively stifled him and Karkat's hands slid against Dave's chest as he pushed himself up onto his knees.  That massaging tendril guided the head of his cock against Karkat's slippery entrance, and the troll slowly lowered himself onto it, wincing sharply in pain with each inch that vanished into his abused nook.  
  
Dave gasped hotly, fighting to keep from blowing right there.  His cock felt like it was being swallowed down the tight throat of some majestic alien sex diety, worshipped by a slippery, silky heaven.  No way in fuck could angels even feel this perfect.  Nothing kept him from hilting inside of Karkat, bruised alien muscle squeezing and quivering around every inch of him.  It was bliss incarnate.  
  
"Fuck!" Dave gasped, struggling to move under the troll.  "Oh fuck, Karkat, you feel fucking amazing..."  _Jegus tapdancing christ, is that me whining like that?_  
  
Karkat settled with Dave fully burrowed within his body and whimpered.  "Yeah well," he began, struggling to speak through heaving breaths.  "This really fucking hurts, Strider."  
  
"Then...why are you--"  
  
Karkat's eyes squeezed shut, his fingers gripping handfuls of Dave's shirt as they curled into fists.  "Think of it like.  Like massaging sore muscles.  It'll help.  It'll f-feel good, but.  But it's going to fucking hurt at the same time."  
  
"Right right," Dave gasped, struggling to focus on anything else, to stay calm.  It was a titanic struggle not to just grip onto Karkat and start fucking him like his life depended on it, but he managed.  He had to.  This wasn't about him.  It was about helping Karkat feel better.  God damn fucking good-for-nothing good-guy feels.  "You need me to go slow?"  
  
"Let me."  
  
"Mmkay.  Just saying.  You feel pretty fucking incredible and if you don't.  Soon.  I'm gonna."  
  
"Shut it, fuckass.  If you spill, you'd better not wilt."  
  
Dave groaned and flopped back to the bed as the feverish bliss of Karkat's insides turned into a sort of torture without friction.  It was common for him to beat it two or three times before softening up, so he wasn't worried about that.  The second time usually took him forever, too.  Just...  _God damn it, Karkat, move...  Move, please..._  
  
The torment continued as Karkat simply lingered right where he was, full of Dave's cock and simply savoring it, squeezing its hard, unmoving length within his nook and trying to stifle his cries.  It clearly hurt, but Karkat wasn't willing to stop.  Everything felt like it was way too much for Dave suddenly, and he fought to pull his shirt off and get rid of it, unable to bear the feel of it against his skin.  Karkat's bulge slithered warmly against his abdomen, and the troll found a moment in his pain for curiosity, brushing his thumb over Dave's left nipple.  
  
Dave arched beneath him, moaning.  Fuck, those were sensitive!  Karkat cried out in return, as Dave moved in him ever so slightly, rubbing those aching, quivering muscles.  It turned out to be too much for the young Strider, who gripped the blankets and pressed up into Karkat as deeply as he could, his cock twitching in aching pulses as he completely lost his cool.  He writhed and winced, peaked groans and breathless grunting rushing from him as he lost his first load up into Karkat's body.    
  
He just told himself it wasn't his fault because it wasn't like he'd ever had any practice with this before.  That being the case, Dave Strider quietly relished in the fact that he'd essentially just punched his v-card with an alien.  
  
He flopped back against the bed as it passed, gasping for breath.  Karkat stared down at him, wide-eyed.  "...okay, I was going to make a crack about you coming too fast but no.  It was worth it to see that look on your face."  
  
"Man," Dave panted, sounding like he'd run a mile.  "Fuck you."  
  
"That is what you're doing Strider, yes."  
  
Dave cracked a smile and laughed again, and Karkat actually laughed with him.  "God damn it, Karkat."  
  
"What?  Alright, Strider, just hold still, and I'll--"  
  
"Fuck that."  Dave rocked up, bound his arms around the troll and held him in close.  That done, he carefully shifted and turned himself around until he was resting against the back of the couch, keeping Karkat in place as he moved.  The troll protested but not too much, wincing and gripping Dave tightly to make sure that he stayed put.  "Ride me if you want to, but I'm not just going to hold still."  
  
Karkat blinked at Dave and even in the gloom, the blush that tinted his cheeks was faintly visible.  "Yeah...  Y-yeah, okay."  
  
Dave's hands slid up under Karkat's shirt and lifted it off of him, and the troll raised his arms to let him do it.  Pale fingers slid along bright ruby grub scars, gray arms slid around broad shoulders, and Karkat began shifting and grinding in Dave's lap, that unforgiving human arousal rubbing at the agony Gamzee had left behind inside of him.    
  
Dave watched Karkat's face.  All too often they saw each other in just one mood; Dave's impassiveness and Karkat's anger.  One usually stirred the other, but at the moment none of that mattered.  They'd stripped off their masks in order to allow this to happen, and Dave couldn't explain why but it felt incredibly comfortable.  Maybe because they both wore those masks and knew what it was like to hide.  
  
Dave found and matched Karkat's rhythm easily, his feet braced against the mattress as he began shallowly thrusting up into the troll.  It was more than enough friction for the interrim, and seemed to be the limit of what Karkat could tolerate.  Karkat gripped him tightly and hid his face against Dave's chest when he began crying again, and Dave didn't make him look up.  For some reason it made him feel like crying as well, and though his eyes stung briefly, he managed to bite back the impulse.  
  
Suddenly, Karkat broke the comfortable silence that had fallen between them.  "Strider," he panted.  "More.  Please..."  
  
More than happy to deliver, Dave's hands slid to Karkat's waist, and his shallow thrusting ceased being so shallow.  He began truly fucking Karkat, though he kept it slow for the moment, letting the troll command him if he wished.  It wasn't such a big deal; in fact, Dave was starting to like the idea of being bossed around in bed a little bit.  If someone told him exactly what they wanted, then there was no way he could really fuck it up, was there?  
  
"Fuck," Karkat panted, turning his red-streaked face up to gaze at Dave.  Dave gazed back at him, and something about Karkat's expression hit him hard in all the right ways.  The way his brows arched up, the way his crying eyes begged and the way his mouth nearly hung open...  Need practically rolled off of him, an intense sort of need that Dave had never really seen before.  Karkat panted for breath and fresh tears rolled down his cheeks.  "H-harder, Strider..."  
  
"You got it, babe," rushed from Dave's lips before he could check himself, and he gripped tightly onto Karkat as he rolled to the side, putting the troll on his back.  Karkat stared up at him but didn't protest, and when Dave began putting it to him, Karkat cried out sharply and gripped onto him as if he were the only solid thing in the universe.  
  
He fucked Karkat like he'd wanted to before, rocking and pounding into him like his life depended on making the troll come.  Karkat's voice seemed to break, hushed moans rushing out of him between gasping rambling and weird, sweet-sounding alien trills.  "Fuck, yes, Strider that's so fucking perfect, that's exactly what I ... oh god!  Don't stop, don't stop don't stop, please fuck don't you fucking stop, oh god oh god, oh god it hurts, it hurts, Dave don't stop!"  
  
Utterly dizzying, hearing "it hurts" and "don't stop" pressed together in the same sentence, but Dave was not about to start asking questions.  The insides of his thighs and his entire abdomen felt warm and sticky, and every time he hammered into Karkat, it seemed like more of that slippery goodness gushed around his cock.  Thinking only of making Karkat come as hard as possible, he reached between them and slid his fingers around the troll's straining, lashing bulge, and that was all it took.  
  
Karkat bound around him so tightly that almost felt like he couldn't breathe.  Karkat bucked and writhed, his nook clenching so tight that all Dave had to do was grind into him for a few more seconds before he gushed a second load inside of the troll, but it was nothing compared to the sheer volume of warm slick red that burst from Karkat in a veritable torrent.  "DAVE!" tore from Karkat's throat, and the Knight of Time wondered if his own name ever sounded so good.  
  
A few minutes passed during which neither of them said a single word.  Karkat collapsed beneath him and Dave slumped on top of him, and within seconds, Karkat began to purr.  The sound didn't take Dave by surprise; he'd heard Terezi purr before, and so he knew trolls could do it, but thinking that he'd just made Karkat do it...  
  
He told his brain to shut up.  Everything was slippery and warm, and his body felt like it was glowing.  He didn't want to think, and his brain didn't seem fully capable of it, anyway.  
  
After a little while, Karkat spoke up.  
  
"Dave?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"C-...could you pull out?"  
  
Dave began to push himself up, but to his surprise, Karkat didn't let him go.  "Don't go anywhere," the troll said quietly.  "Just.  Pull out."  
  
"Oh.  Yeah, sure."  He carefully slid his hips back, and Karkat made the softest, strangest little crickety chirp.  Dave blinked at him.  "You okay?"  
  
"Yeah," Karkat replied, his breathing finally calm.  The troll stared up at his ceiling and brushed his fingers through Dave's hair.  "That.  That feels much better.  Though, Strider?"  
  
He lifted his head and peered at Karkat.  "Yeah?"  
  
"This doesn't change anything, okay?  You're still an asshole."  
  
Dave laughed and wiped his hand off on the blanket before reaching up to trace his fingertip down the nubby curve of Karkat's left horn.  "Fuck, dude.  I know that."  He smiled as he felt Karkat shiver from head to toe, and his purring began anew.  "I'm not gonna tell anybody, either.  Secret's safe with me."  
  
Karkat swallowed to stifle his purring so that he could speak.  "Thank you."  
  
"Shit...  I guess this is part of why you guys use buckets, huh.  I need a fucking shower now."  
  
"That makes two of us."  
  
"Think we could make it to the bathroom without anybody noticing?"  
  
"I think it's worth the risk."  
  
  
* * *  
  
 _I fucked it up._  
  
He paced alone in the dark, idly twirling one of his clubs in his fingers.  
  
 _I fucked it up._  
  
How could it have failed?  It didn't make no sense, no motherfucking sense.  They'd jerked each other off before.  It should have fucking worked but it didn't work.  Why hadn't it worked?  Karkat was such a growly hateful little shit.  It should have fucking worked.  They'd been pale as all hell, why hadn't those emotions twisted?  Why didn't Karkat vacillate?  Why why why?  Why??  
  
He growled angrily and threw his club across his secret room, which was far away from all the others in a different part of the lab.  
  
He had to have this.  He had to.  He had to have it.  He was addicted to it now, there was no shaking it.  He was a junkie and his fix could only come from one pitch-black place.  There was no remedy for it but having it, and if Karkat wouldn't turn black, then...then what choice did he have?  What could he do?  What choice did he motherfucking have?  
  
There had to be a miracle in all this somewhere but he couldn't fucking see it.  Where was the fucking miracle?  _Where was the MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLE??_  
  
He'd tried shoving it down, he really had.  But it just wasn't in his nature.  If he could just make one of his pies, he could have -- but no.  No no, that shit rots your think pan.  Rots you from the inside out.  Just like his frustrated caliginous desires were doing.  Rotting him from the inside out.  Festering, rotting, throbbing.    
  
Karkat was the one he wanted.  It should have worked it should have worked it should have worked it should have worked it should have worked why didn't it fucking work _why why WHY DIDN'T IT MOTHERFUCKING WORK??!?!?_  
  
A growl rippled out of him and he slammed both hands against the wall.  He'd painted a shipping wall of his own, and the way he saw it, if Karkat turned him down then he really had only one other option.  
  
No way Terezi could get everything she needed from that _MOTHERFUCKINGBLASPHEMOUS WORTHLESS PILE OF FUCKING SHIT_ Dave.  No way in hell.  Were they even a thing, who knew.  What fucking sense did that make, troll and a human.  Troll and a fucking human, no way.  Not on his motherfucking watch.  
  
Terezi.  
  
He could pull this off.  
  
He just had to play it cool.  
  
Had to do it right.  
  
Pull her in.  All up and get her hooked.  Work her in so deep that she couldn't get out again.  
  
Didn't work with Karkat but he knew he could make it work with her.  
  
His frustrated scowl slowly turned into a mirthless grin.  
  
 _Found it._


End file.
